Communication Breakdown

Situation: The Bill

You are enjoying lunch with a friend.  It’s time for the check, and your friend offers to pay for your meal.  You gladly accept.  The next time the two of you go out, your friend is surprised when you want to split the bill.  What happened?

Aspie and autistic friends:  The social expectation is that when someone pays for you, the next time you should be prepared to pay for them. So the next time you go out, offer to pay for your friend’s meal.

Neurotypical friends: Your Aspie/ autistic friend may have missed the cues that it is their turn to pick up the tab.  Explain why you are feeling surprised, and decide how you both want to handle these types of situations in the future.

By talking this through you can avoid a communication breakdown and a potential rift between friends.  Sometimes those with Autism don’t know or understand the same rules as a neurotypical individual.  It’s OK to speak to the rule directly to avoid hurt feelings in the future.

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